Yup, I've been gone again, but it was only for a short amount of time. My internet had run out of download and I had to wait for a little while for it to come back on. While I waited, I had no choice but to do some of my fanfics. Some of them I could barely remember because of how much I have not actually done them. But, considering the fact that I'm back once again, I can finally get around to doing some of my stories. Although my well-concentrated ones need more concentrating on.

Ok, first up, I need to ask you something. Have any of youse heard of Agroaphobia before? I know, I know. Very typical of me to ask such a stupid question at a time like this. I'll put it straight though. Agroaphobia is some sort of anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting in which there is no means of escape.

I'll be straight with you all again. I went to see a psychiatrist a couple of days ago. Now, when I told him a few things and about myself, and also why I'm afraid of a few things, he told me that I have an anxiety disorder called Agroaphobia and I nearly fainted at the news. He says its treatable, but I'm terrified that we might do things that I don't want to do; like push me to my limits until I scream, or maybe go to places I'm not familiar with.

I don't know guys, I just don't know anymore. First MDD+AS and now this? Many people say I'm strong person, but I feel that I'm not. Deep down, I'm afraid of leaving my home just because I can't get to safety in an open space, like a shopping mall or an airport. I'm terrified, guys, and I really can't help it anymore. The panic attacks worsens whenever I'm in wide, open spaces. Unknown areas scare the heck out of me, and fearing to not fit in with the crowd and other things that may set me off.

The only thing that seems to keep me sane are my Prime Keys (Keychain Optimus) and my writing. I do it because it makes me feel safe and secure. Without insecurity, I feel like nothing. I care what people say about my writing. When they say it looks ridiculous, I feel put off and even more afraid than ever. I try my best to make them look good, but so many think I'm just an emo, but I'm not... It's... just me...

You guys don't think I'm... *glups* emo do you? I like to wear black because it's a safe colour...